FAQ - Grief Recovery NJ

How does The Grief Recovery Method® compare to a conventional grief support group?

Many support groups are ongoing and/or activity or topic driven. The Grief Recovery Method® Outreach Program is guided by a curriculum of 7 weeks for one-to-one sessions, and 8 weeks for group sessions. The Grief Recovery Handbook by John James and Russell Friedman is the textbook. Worksheets and supplemental materials are provided.

How does Grief Recovery differ from therapy?

Grief is the normal and natural reaction to loss. It is not a pathological condition, nor is it a personality disorder. Grief Recovery is an educational experience, based on the fact that most of us were never taught effective tools for dealing with grief. Participants find that any subsequent therapy is enhanced by their experience in the workshop. In fact, many therapists refer clients to the workshop.

When is it time to do my “grief work?”

The biggest single inaccurate idea that we are socialized to believe is that “time heals all wounds.” Time does not heal, but there are specific actions you can take to help you discover and complete unfinished emotional business. When can you begin to discover and complete all of the things that you wish had ended “different, better or more,” and all of the broken “hopes, dreams, and expectations” about the future? The answer is immediately. It’s in the time immediately following a loss (divorce included) that our memories of that relationship are most vivid and accurate.

Is it ever too soon to join one of our Grief Support Groups?

No! It is never too soon to address your grief. If you broke your leg, would you wait to call the doctor? So why wait to get help when you break your heart? You’ve probably heard that time heals all wounds. That piece of misinformation creates the idea that you just have to wait to feel better. We have known people who have waited ten, twenty, thirty, and forty years, and still didn’t feel better. And they would tell you that not only had time not healed them, but it compounded the pain. It’s not time that heals, but what you do with that time.

It’s been years since my loss, but I still feel like I’m not fully participating in my life, is this normal?

Unresolved grief can take us “out of the moment,” sometimes causing us to become lost in conversations and thought about people who are no longer physically with us. (This is not limited to death. We are equally likely to be lost in a conversation with a former spouse, still living, who is not physically present).
Assuming that our physical health is okay, unresolved grief also drains us of energy. It tends to close our hearts down. Since we’re incomplete with a prior loss, we automatically protect ourselves by not loving again. We “hold back” in order to protect our hearts, thereby dooming new relationships to fail. In addition, grievers tend to hide their true feelings for fear of being judged. Where isolation is the problem, participation is a major component of the solution.

How much does it cost to attend a group session or to get a one-to-one Grief Recovery Method® Specialist?

Costs for The Grief Recovery Method® vary depending upon whether a participant chooses individual sessions, the group format or the online program.

Is The Grief Recovery Method® Program covered by insurance?

No, grief is not a diagnosis.